Enduring Love

It’s easy to fall in love with someone — that part feels effortless, intoxicating, like the whole world is cheering you on. But when the new wears off, you’re left with a choice. Last week I wrote about saying YES to life, saying yes to God. This week I want to talk about the daily yes… the yes you speak with your actions, your patience, your forgiveness, your commitment. The yes you give to your partner, your husband, your wife, your person.

A Foundation Built on Friendship

I love my husband dearly. He is my best friend. From the very first conversation we had, I knew I wanted him in my life in a meaningful way. It took us a while to step out of the “friendship” phase, but I don’t regret a single moment of building that foundation. I think God knew exactly what He was doing when He put us together.

But even with deep love, life isn’t always sunshine and rainbows and smooth sailing. Life is hard. And trying to navigate it with someone by your side can be both rewarding and also overwhelming.

A Culture That Teaches Us to Quit

We have a culture problem. People are trained — almost conditioned — to jump ship the moment things get hard. Look at the movies and TV shows we consume. It took Ross and Rachel ten years of breaking up, making up, and creating chaos before they finally committed. And somewhere along the way, we started treating that kind of instability like it was normal… even entertaining. But life isn’t meant to be lived in a cycle of drama, selfishness, cheating, lying, or leaving whenever things get uncomfortable.

📖 Scripture: 1 Corinthians 13:7

“Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”

1 Corinthians 13:7 tells us that love “bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” It’s easy to say yes when everything feels good. But the real yes — the daily yes — is choosing to endure when your emotions are running wild and the person you promised to love is, honestly, your least favorite person that day. Despite what our culture teaches us, God teaches us to endure. It may not always be the most appealing option in the moment, but I believe with my whole heart it is the most rewarding in the long run.

Healing, Trust, and the Baggage We Carry

When I met my husband, I recognized almost immediately that I wanted him in my life — but we were both carrying baggage from past relationships. We didn’t trust easily, and we were hesitant to walk down that road again. Looking back, I believe that’s exactly why God helped us build a foundation of friendship before anything romantic ever began. He understood what we couldn’t yet see: the lives we lived before each other were shaping us into exactly what the other needed to believe in humanity again.

My husband needed a woman who would be faithful to him — someone who could see the strength, the tenderness, and the loyalty in him when life had made it far too easy to become bitter and cold. And I needed someone who would be faithful to me in a different way… someone steady enough to hold his ground when I was fighting like hell to run and hide. Life had taught me to be quick with the flight response. Much like the animals I’ve rescued and nurtured over the years, I sought solitude as a shield — a way to avoid being hurt, let down, or disappointed by people again.

📖 Scripture: 1 Corinthians 13:7 (Again)

1 Corinthians 13:7 reminds us that love “endures all things,” but sometimes the hardest thing to endure is our own fear. Those of us who carry past hurts know exactly what it feels like when someone wounds us again — that instinctive urge to burn it all down, to run, to protect ourselves at any cost. That fear response can feel like survival, but more often it’s the enemy in disguise. Culture tells us that self‑protection is strength, but it isn’t survival to live alone, guarded, and afraid. It’s that nagging voice in our heads whispering that we aren’t enough… that we don’t deserve love… that it’s safer to stay hidden than to risk being hurt again.

Fear convinces us to build walls, but God teaches us to build roots — roots that hold steady when emotions shift and old wounds flare. That’s why the daily yes matters so much. It’s not just choosing your spouse; it’s choosing to silence fear, to trust God’s voice over your insecurities, and to show up with a heart that’s willing to grow. Perfect love — God’s love — casts out fear, and when we anchor ourselves in Him, we stop reacting from old wounds and start responding from a place of truth.

This is why putting God first matters — not just in marriage, but in every relationship we have. When God is first, fear loses its authority. When God is first, we stop looking to another person to make us whole. And when God is first, we learn the truth that you cannot love someone else well if you do not first learn to love the person God created you to be.

The Weight of Real Life

When you love someone deeply and completely, it doesn’t shield you from hardship. Life continues to be hard. Having someone by your side can be incredibly rewarding — anyone raising children together can attest to this. Sharing the little moments, the victories, the inside jokes, the late‑night chaos… it all makes life sweeter. But it can also be a challenge. No two people are the same. Even when you share values and dreams, you still think, act, and make decisions differently. And when you come together in marriage, you’re no longer just thinking as an individual — you’re thinking as a spouse, and often as a parent, a partner, a teammate, a caretaker. See what I mean? Overwhelming.

I think most of us naturally want to keep the peace, so we don’t say everything that’s on our minds. We hold back because we don’t want to create chaos. And honestly, I think men are more guilty of this. It’s not always their way to be vocal, and women are left trying to read their minds, misinterpreting every word or action. Tension builds. Shame builds. Silence builds. And before you know it, two people who love each other deeply are sitting in the same room feeling miles apart.

Every marriage — every relationship — faces seasons of strain. It’s funny, in a heartbreaking sort of way, how we all experience loneliness… yet we’re all so alike in the ways we hide it.

📖 Scripture: Ecclesiastes 4:9–10

“Two are better than one… If either of them falls down, one can help the other up.”

Ecclesiastes 4:9–10 reminds us of the power of lifting each other up, and I think that’s at the heart of what it means to say yes daily to your spouse or significant other. It looks like listening. It looks like choosing forgiveness. It looks like showing up when you’re tired, speaking softly instead of reacting harshly, and choosing grace even when emotions are loud. For us, with the responsibilities of caring for the animals here on the farm and sanctuary, our days can easily become consumed by their needs. Feeding, exercising, tending to medical issues, giving them the time and attention they deserve — it’s a lot. And when life is that full, it’s easy for our own wants and desires to get pushed to the background.

Not everyone runs an animal rescue, but most people know the grind of their own daily lives — the jobs, the kids, the bills, the endless to‑dos — and how little room that sometimes leaves for yourselves, let alone each other. Exhaustion creeps in. Feelings get hurt. Couples drift without even realizing it’s happening.

The Lake and the Stone: A Marriage That Polishes

I’ve come to think of marriage as an opportunity for God to polish our rough edges. If you imagine your spouse as a steady lake — ebbing, flowing, covering you — and you as the stone, you can almost feel the gentle smoothing that happens over time. It’s a far more peaceful image than being tossed into a rock tumbler or scraped against sandpaper. The lake doesn’t force change; it shapes you through presence, consistency, and time. And in the same way, the daily yes in marriage isn’t abrasive. It’s steady. It’s soft. It’s faithful.

📖 Scripture: Romans 5:3–4

“Suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.”

Romans 5:3–4 tells us that “suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.” God doesn’t waste the hard parts. If you’ve ever found yourself wondering, Why me? Why is this happening to me? you’re not alone. There’s an old saying that “when it rains, it pours,” and when life gets heavy, it can feel like every hit is the one that’s going to break you. Pretty soon people start saying things like, “It was just bad luck that they didn’t make it.” But luck has nothing to do with it. More often, it’s a failure to stay true to your commitment — to each other and to God.

God uses the hard seasons to shape us for the next chapter of our lives. He wants us to grow, to learn, to mature, to become more Christ‑like in how we love and how we endure. You can’t do that if you’re running away every time things get uncomfortable, treating your spouse poorly, or giving up the moment hardship shows up at your door. Growth doesn’t happen in escape. It happens in the staying — in the choosing, in the daily yes, in the willingness to let God refine you through the very things you wish you could avoid.

Conclusion: The Daily Yes

As I sit with all of this, I keep coming back to one simple truth: God is inviting us into something deeper. A new season. A steadier season. A season where the daily yes matters more than the grand gestures ever could. Marriage isn’t held together by perfection — it’s held together by two imperfect people choosing, again and again, to stay, to grow, to forgive, to show up, and to love like Christ loves us.

So I want to leave you with this: think about what it would look like for you to say yes daily — to your spouse, to your family, and most importantly, to God. Not because everything is easy. Not because everything feels good. But because God is faithful, and He will not forsake you or your marriage. He is in the refining. He is in the rebuilding. He is in the quiet moments where you choose grace instead of anger, softness instead of defensiveness, presence instead of escape.

I don’t have all the answers, but I do know this: I want to be a woman who says yes. Yes to God’s leading. Yes to the man He gave me. Yes to the work of becoming more Christ‑like, even when it challenges me. Yes to the kind of love that endures all things. And honestly… I want to be like that lake we talked about earlier — steady, gentle, faithful — letting God use the ebb and flow of our days to polish the rough edges in me, and trusting that He is shaping both of us into something stronger and smoother than we were before.

If you’re in a hard season too, I hope you’ll choose the daily yes right alongside me. One small, faithful step at a time. One gentle wave at a time. Let God do the polishing. Let love do the steadying. And let your yes be the thing that carries you into the next season He’s preparing for you.